


Bloody Winged Birds

by Icechild



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Nightwing (Comics), Young Justice - All Media Types
Genre: Batfamily, Blood Loss, DO NOT READ IF EASILY TRIGGERED, Family Dynamics, Hurt Dick Grayson, Injured Dick Grayson, Protective Batfamily, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, Team as Family, brother bonding, trigger warning, worried friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-06
Updated: 2019-06-06
Packaged: 2020-04-11 12:03:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19109272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Icechild/pseuds/Icechild
Summary: Set after the end of season two of Young Justice. Wally may not have died but that didn't mean the team wasn't in danger of losing one of it's members. No one knew how much the first boy wonder was hurting. No one knew the first Robin was about to fall.





	Bloody Winged Birds

After all of the lies and secrets during invasion no one wanted to be near Nightwing. Wally hadn’t died but he’d sure come close, and when the ginger woke up to a worried Dick Grayson in his room he had yelled at the man. He had raved that none of it would have happened if he had just done better as a friend and a leader. Wally had yelled and yelled and through it all Dick did nothing to defend himself. He took every insult, every hit, and he said nothing. He made no moves to protect himself. Every member of the team had verbally ripped him to shreds. Some of them even tried to physically do it.

He thought if anyone would understand it would be the people he made the plan with and his family. He was wrong there too. Kaldur wouldn’t look at him and Artemis had punched him hard enough to send him flying, saying that he was the reason they all almost died. Barbara had slapped him and left, refusing any contact with him after that. Tim glared at him and refused to speak to his older sibling. Bruce was still away on Rimbor and the stress of everything was catching up to the young hero.

He had been fired from his job at the station because he wouldn’t take any bribes to stay quiet about the mob’s business. No job meant no money so he was being evicted at the end of the week. He wasn’t welcomed at the watchtower or the hall of justice. He still had his comm but if he tried to use it no one would ever respond to it. He tried to call people but they never answered him. He wasn’t being as careful on his patrols because apparently his being careful only got others hurt.

One time he was stabbed and bleeding and called for help. No one answered until his final attempt. They only answered to yell at him. When they had heard his ragged breathing they sent in Connor to help him. He threw supplies at him in the alley and told him to not be a nuisance.

He stopped calling after that. It didn’t matter if he was hurt or if he needed backup. He knew no one would come so he stopped trying. He felt himself sinking into a constant brooding state. He didn’t smile anymore. All he ever seemed to cause was problems so why should he bother trying to stay there. No one wanted to see him or hear from him or be anywhere near him. All he was was a big problem so wouldn’t it be better if he did something right for a change and took out the problem?

He went to the bathroom and looked through what he had. No pills. He’d stopped taking anything for pain because he felt he deserved it. He’d stopped sleeping pills because he didn’t deserve rest, he had to work to fix his mistakes. He’d stopped eating because he didn’t deserve to have food when he’d messed up so bad and when innocent kids were starving on the streets. Eventually he picked up a kitchen knife and went to the bathtub and climbed in. He made sure the lights were off so no one thought he was there. He had the door locked for the bathroom and he played with the knife in his hands.

Did he really want to do this?

Yes.

Was this really the only answer?

Yes.

Would tomorrow have been a better day?

Probably not.

Would anyone ever forgive him for the mess he’s made?

Never.

He pulled the knife over the flesh on his wrist. He watched the blood fall around him and turned on the water to help rinse it away. He didn’t want to make too much of a mess and cause too much trouble. He’d done enough. He waited until he sat in about two inches of water and turned it off. He cut again and again and watched the blood fall down his arm and into the water below. The whole time he was thinking about all the people who would be happy to find out he had offed himself in a bathtub. Wally, Roy, Artemis, Connor, Kaldur, M’gann, Zatanna, Babs, Tim, the list went on and on. Nightwing knew almost everyone in the hero community and he had betrayed them all in order to stop the Reach.

There was only one person that he didn’t know how to justify this to. Alfred. The man had been like a grandfather to him and Alfred had never participated in isolating him. He wanted to know what home felt like one last time before he died. So he grabbed his phone from the edge of the tub and dialed the number he’d had memorized since he was 8 years old. When it rang for the fourth time he thought he wasn’t going to get an answer from Alfred either, but then he did.

“Hello?”

He tried to keep his voice as even as possible but it was hard.

“Alfred?”

“Master Dick is that you?”

“Yeah..” He couldn’t fight the tears that welled up in his eyes at the joy Alfred had in his voice.

“To what do I owe the pleasure of a phone call?”

“I...I just wanted to talk. We haven’t done that for a while and..and well I wanted to say I’m sorry for that.”

“Are you alright?” Leave to Alfred to be able to tell there’s something wrong without even being there.

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine. It’s just been a little stressful and I thought I’d chat with my gramps for a little.”

“Are you calling me old Master Dick?”

“No. No that’s not what I meant,” God, he just messed up everything didn’t he.

“What was that?” Had he said that out loud?

“Nothing, don’t worry about it Alfie. I’m uh, I’m actually kinda tired. It’s been a long few days, you know how it is. I’m gunna hang up now.”

“Master Dick-”

He was cut off by Dick hanging up the phone on the other side.

He knew there was something wrong. Dick hadn’t called in a long time and Nightwing had stopped appearing in the news. From what Tim had informed him the original boy wonder was no longer welcome at the hall or the watchtower. When he had asked what happened the only response he had gotten was that Dick had deserved it. He didn’t care if there was a sibling rivalry going on at the moment he did not like the way Dick had sounded on that call. He sounded lost and broken. He sounded tired, hurt, and at the edge of an abyss with no hope to escape. It sent every protective instinct on edge and so he called Tim, who he knew was at the hall at the moment.

“Hey Alfie, what’s up?”

“Have you heard from master Dick at all?”

“No. And I like it that way. You know I’m not speaking to him so why-”

“There’s something wrong.”

The way that Alfred spoke sent shivers down Tim’s spine.

“What do you mean?”

“He called here, he did not sound like himself. Your sibling rivalries will be put on hold so you can go check on your brother.”

“He’s not my-”

“He damn well is your brother.”

Alfred never swore and he never yelled at him. It had Tim on high alert.

“He loves you like you are his own flesh and blood brother and he loved Master Jason the same way.”

“Yeah, lots of good that did.”

“Robin is a hero. Do you even knows what it means?”

“Robin’s Batman’s partner-”

“No. Robin is the nickname Richard’s mother had for him. Robin means family and right now yours could be in danger and you are standing there talking to me when you should be on your way to Bludhaven to find your older brother. Whatever he did, I’m sure he didn’t mean it. This has been going on for months. Give him another chance, that’s what family does.”

Alfred hung up after that and Tim was left with a gaping pit in the bottom of his stomach. He ran to the zeta-tubes without missing a beat and entered in the coordinates for the one three blocks from Dick’s apartment. Alfred was right. About everything. He had seen the way that everyone ignored Dick and that’s how he had justified his own anger. No one else was talking to him so why should he? The more he thought about it the more he realized that Dick had made the right call. He had saved the world hadn’t he? He realized Nightwing had fallen away from reports, he’d stopped attempting to contact anyone after Connor had come back and been angry for a waste of resources and time.

When he made it to Bludhaven he ran right to Dick’s apartment and picked the front lock after there was no reply. If Alfred said there was something wrong there was probably something wrong. Every light was off except the bathroom. He went over carefully and knocked on the door.

“Dick?”

When there was no reply he knocked again, louder this time.

“Dick you in there? It’s Tim.”

When there was still no reply he started checking the door for traps. If a villain had him then this could easily be a trap for his family. When he was checking under the door he smelled the strong scent of blood.

He didn’t waste time with the lock and instead broke the door down. What he saw made his heart freeze in his chest. There was Dick, the man he’d looked up to since he was little, the first robin, the one all of them were compared to in training. A founder of Young Justice, a leader, a hero. The man that had been helping him patrol Gotham since Bruce was gone, there was his big brother, laying still in a bathtub full of blood looking nearly as pale as the porcelain he leaned against. He ran right over and pressed his fingers against Dick’s throat.

“Come on, come on please. Don’t do this Dick, you can’t be.”

He felt it. He felt the weak pulse thumping under his fingers and he almost burst into tears right there.

Where was he hurt? Why didn’t he call for backup? Why didn’t he call for help?

It was then that he saw the knife in the bloody water. Had he tried to dig out a bullet? He knows Dick knows that’s not how you do it. While looking for the wound he lifted one of his arms out of the water. He saw the lines of cuts down his wrists. After that there was no other reason for what could have happened to his brother. Those kinds of cuts don’t get there on accident. He felt sick to his stomach and called in an emergency beacon to the Watchtower.

“Robin to League. I need help. Immediate transport to med bay.”

Connor was on duty for the monitor womb at the moment and he answered the call.

“Tim? What’s wrong? Are you hurt?”

“Not me. I- Please I need help!”

“Okay, okay give me a minute to get your exact location.”

“I’ve got it already.” He quickly raddled off Dick’s address and held down pressure on his brother’s wrist. He got a small groan out of the man.

“Dick? Dick can you hear me? Open your eyes please just open your eyes.”

Dick turned his head away slightly and Tim was about to continue coaxing until he heard the voice in his ear.

“Dick? He doesn’t need help, he’s just trying to waste your time Tim. Just leave him, he doesn’t deserve it.”

“Connor for God’s sake shut the fuck up and help me he’s dying!”

The rage and fear and sadness all came pouring out of him as tears began streaming down his face while he felt his brother’s pulse fading.

It must have been enough because the next thing he knew he wasn’t in Dick’s shitty Bludhaven apartment anymore. He was in the zeta room of the watchtower. No one was in there to meet him and his panic increased. Connor had been sitting in the monitor womb and after hearing that Dick could be dying he couldn’t deny the way he felt his heart skip a beat. Once upon a time Dick had been his little brother. He had saved him from Cadmus and when he needed help Connor didn’t give it. Was he really about to let his little brother die over an argument? He had to have his reasons, maybe he should listen to them.

Connor ran to the Zeta room and ran faster when he heard the two heartbeats, one much, much weaker than the other. He slid to a stop next to the two bats and tried to find the issue.

“Tim, what happened, where’s he hurt?”

He saw him holding pressure on Dick’s wrist and tried to reach to see the damage.

“No. Connor you’ve done enough damage to him as is, he needs blood. We. God we can’t move him it’ll take too long. Get me suturing supplies and towels, bandages, blood.” Seeing Connor was still staring at them both in shock he yelled, “Go!”

Connor snapped up and took off in the direction of the med bay. Tim kept pressure and tried to shake Dick a little.

“C’mon. Dick can you hear me? I need you to open your eyes, please just let me know you’re still here.”

He got another faint groan but not much other than that. It would have to be enough, at least he was still responding a little. He heard the Zeta fire up again behind him but couldn’t bring himself to care, his brother was his only priority. That was, until he heard voices behind him.

“Robin? What’s, holy shit…”

Roy and Wally had come up for a visit and saw Dick laying on the ground in front of him. They were both over in a heartbeat and looking Dick over.

“What happened?”

He couldn’t bring himself to lie anymore. He had been introduced to Roy and Wally as older brothers. People who would always be there when needed.

“He..He slit his wrist. I don’t know why but Alfred called me saying something was wrong, I went to check and I found him in the bathtub.”

He heard them both swear and Roy was checking his pulse while Wally checked him over.

Both Roy and Wally were kicking themselves. They had sworn they’d always be there with Dick, he was the baby brother. They both knew he struggled with self-confidence and they both knew he needed people. Yet they had helped isolate him. They hadn’t even known he’d been falling away this bad. If Alfred hadn’t called Tim then….

Connor came back then and let the supplies out onto the floor around them. Roy took over for Tim’s shaking hands and got to work on stitching his baby brother. It was the first time Connor saw the wounds and he knew what they were.

“He didn’t…”

“He did.”

Once they got him stitched Connor very carefully lifted him into his arms. Dick whimpered a little and Connor noted with shock that Dick was much lighter than he used to be. He could feel his ribs even through the clothes and the thought struck him like a blade through his heart.

* * *

It was the middle of the afternoon when Dick woke up in the Watchtower med bay. He opened his eyes and all he saw was white, he’d thought he was dead until he felt pain in his arm. He heard the beeping of a heart monitor and looked around as his eyes adjusted to the light of the room. He was surprised to see four people in the room with him. He tried to sit up but winced at the stiffness in his body. It was enough to wake up the room’s occupants.

“Dick?”

He saw the worry in all of their faces and it made him feel sick. He didn’t deserve their pity. He’d already caused enough damage and now it only looks like he’s caused more. He was wasting their supplies.

Wally saw the look in Dick’s eyes and he looked to everyone else.

“Can we have the room please?”

Roy and Connor both stood up and left but Tim stayed. He jumped into his brother’s bed and caught him into a bone crushing hug.

“Please don’t leave. I’m sorry for everything, I can’t lose my big brother.”

Dick was slow to hug him back, his voice nearly silent when he finally spoke.

“You won’t.”

Tim squeezed him a little and then left after giving Wally a nod and another meaningful look with Dick.

Once it was just Dick and Wally in the room Dick stared at his lap. All the light he used to hold in his eyes was gone. It was clear that he wasn’t happy anymore.

“Dick, I know that you probably aren’t in the mood right now, but, say something? Please?”

“I failed.”

The words were said with such a blunt tone, with almost no emotion, that it had a cold ball of steel settle into Wally’s stomach.

“Failed at what?”

“Dying.”

He felt his heart break for his best friend. “No. You didn’t fail, you lived that means-”

“I wanted to die.”

Dick still wasn’t looking at him. He was staring at his lap and Wally watched as his hands balled into fists. A habit he had picked up from Bruce that always let Wally know when he was feeling too much and didn’t know where to go.

“Why?”

That got Dick to look at him at least.

“Why not? I messed up so bad that no one wants to be near me. I understand, I’m not mad. I hurt everyone and they have every right to hate me, god I hate me. I lost my job because I wouldn’t take bribes from the mob. I don’t have any money so my apartment is being seized. All I do is cause problems for people so why shouldn’t I?”

“Dick...why didn’t you talk to someone about this?”

“No one picked up.”

The sadness that dripped off his words sent Wally’s heart from shattered pieces into vapor. He grabbed Dick and hugged him and felt his bones.

“I’m sorry. I’ve been a shitty best friend.” When he saw Dick open his mouth to defend him, Wally cut him off. “No. Don’t defend me. I have. The fact that you aren’t seeing that this is on me just proves how horrible I’ve been.”

The door cracked open and Roy came back in.

“Couldn’t help but overhear. Dick, this is one us, all of us.” He gave Wally a pointed look before softening and turning back to Dick. He sat on the edge of the bed and wrapped an arm around the bird.

“You are our brother and we should have never let this happen.”

Conner and Tim decided to make their appearances as well.

“You saved me from Cadmus Dick.” He came and sat on the same side as Roy next to Dick’s hip. “You saved me so many times and I was nothing but mean to you when you came clean. You supported me even though I had been meeting with Luthor and when you were bleeding I didn’t even wait to help you, I just threw the supplies. You’re my little brother and nothing I ever say or do can make this up to you.”

Tim perched on Dick’s legs and looked at him.

“Alfred called me. It’s how I found you, he said you sounded hurt and lost and-” He looked down, “and he told me what Robin means. That it represents family. Both the family we’ve lost and the family we have now and that my big brother needed me. He was so right. I was terrible. All of us were, but if I had heard from the news that you were dead I- I don’t know what I would have done.”

Silence filled the room before Dick spoke again. “I’m sorry that I worried all of you. I’ll, I’ll try to be better.”

Roy squeezed his shoulder, “You’re already perfect.”

Dick gave them all a small smile, a shadow of the one he used to give, but it was there nonetheless. He wasn’t okay, not yet, but he had his brothers and his brothers were all he needed.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed it! Please let me know what you think!


End file.
